COVID19 and the TCK

MKs and TCKs tend to have this need for movement and change. As both of these myself, I see this need reflected in my constant desire to change my room around, travel, spend the night or weekend at a friends house, take transport to go as far away as possible, have adventure and thrill in my life and rearrange my dresser drawers ALL THE TIME. Every time I go to pull something out I'm always like "Wait... Did I rearrange it again, or did I switch it back?"

Restlessness- during my entire childhood and most of my adolescence we moved every 6 months. It was between 2 countries, and we almost always stayed in the same places, but every 6ish months we would pack up and move.

Disconnection- I always found it hard to connect with those I call family, not being able to relate to their lives. Not knowing how peoples lives work, how do normal people live?

Missing friends and family- I went to boarding school, so either I was at school and missing my family, or I was at home missing my friends. And always missing extended family.

Loneliness - I've always felt that no one else has lived exactly what I've lived. Even my siblings. Because we were in different dorms and began boarding school in different years, I've always felt lonely, and because no one ever sticks around, we're always feeling alone.

Not knowing if or when I'll see my loved ones again. I never felt I knew my extended family the way I wanted to. Because I would see them every two years, regardless of the effort we made, you can only get to know someone so-well when you see them every 2 years for a month! On one hand thankfully in the mission field there were stand-in aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, but the downside is that you grow up with them, they feel like family, but in the long run, you're not related and so one day you have to say goodbye.

Relying on the internet for pretty much all my relationships. Because everything is temporary, because change happens all the time, internet, Facebook, Instagram, email, Face time, Skype all essential things in my life. I think about 50% of my social interaction is not face to face.

Evacuating, or preparing to evacuate. When elections were happening where we lived we had emergency bags packs, a drill and we knew exactly what was going to happen when or if we had to evacuate. The number of other MK's who have had to evacuate is astonishing! I count myself really lucky and blessed to have not had to evacuate.

Unrest in the country. I feel that during my entire childhood I was painfully aware of the unrest that we were experiencing. During elections or marches we were often confronted by angry citizens with rocks in their hands, burning tires or shouting. I never felt 100% safe in any country.

Going crazy that you’re stuck in one place. I was so used to travelling and moving that when we moved "back" to Europe, I went nuts that I was stuck in the same place. I found every opportunity to travel. Take a plane or visit someone.

Restlessness, disconnection, missing people, loneliness, Not knowing when I'll see people again, Relying on the internet for relationships, evacuating, unrest in the country and going crazy that you're stuck in one place are things that seem normal to me because life has always been like this. Since the age of 2, that's been my life.

I'm not necessarily complaining. Being a TCK has taught me so much! I cant even put into words how wonderful its been. But these are some of the things I struggle to accept and live with on a daily basis.

During this hard time of COVID19 I’m hearing more and more friends who’ve lived in the same country their whole lives and who are feeling all these things too. For the first time in my life I feel like “Normal” people understand me... the uncertainty, the sudden goodbyes, the loss of a daily routine, the ambiguity of it all. As TCKs we’ve lived much of our lives like that (minus the global pandemic) I'm not saying that the virus is worth the way people are understanding me, because I would rather never be understood that watch people suffer and die with this horrible illness.

For those of us who are MKs and TCKs we’re being understood more and more, and the frustration of not knowing how to explain these hard emotions and thoughts is just that little bit easier now that others are feeling them too.

I've been trying to look at what these things have taught me in my life.

Restlessness pushes me to become active, to start doing things, to move. It has pushed me to want to learn, to want to try new things. Because I'm feeling restless, I want to go for a walk outside, I want to start a blog, I want to read books that draw me closer to God.

Disconnection reminds me that the only long term connection I have is with God. The truth is we will always feel disconnected sometimes, the only one who is never disconnected from me, even if i don't feel it, is God.

Missing friends and family pushes me to make an effort. missing them pushes me to want to be with them. Being with them helps me get to know them. I often think of the vacations we would have when I was at boarding school. Because we weren't always with our family, when we were it was precious and really great.

Loneliness syncs my heart to Jesus's heart. I see echoes of Jesus's loneliness all throughout the bible. loneliness creates a need for comfort and love in my life, a place that Jesus fills for me daily. If I didn't feel lonely I would really not spend that much time with God.

Not knowing if or when I'll see my loved ones again pushes me to pray for them more. It also helps me keep away from conflict. When you don't know when you'll see them next its harder to leave things off in an argument. Things you disagree over seem small when you know you may never see them again.

Relying on the internet for pretty much all my relationships, honestly? Makes me grateful. Up until the age of 13, we didn't really have WiFi. If we did it was on vacation or on the weekend. We didn't have good reception either so we would talk to our families when we saw them every 7 weeks, and over vacation we wouldn't really have contact with our friends. I'm so thankful that we have working WiFi now. Its reliable (mostly), quick and inexpensive.

Evacuating, or preparing to evacuate has taught me that the question "your house is burning, you have 3 things you can take what are they?" is a reality for a lot of people. Just because I haven't necessarily had to do it, I know plenty of people who have. From an early age I've always known what I would take.

Unrest in the country has taught me that the only place that I can be completely safe is with Christ. And no, that's not physically safe. I feel blessed to have seen God keep me safe in so many unsafe situations, and it has taught me to trust God's protection over me.

Going crazy that you’re stuck in one place has given me a desire to travel, to reach out and to meet countless people. It boosts me to be extroverted and outgoing. It gave me an outlook on the world that I wouldn't trade for anything.

The best part of this is we are not alone. The whole world is feeling these things and we're all facing it together. That gives me hope. Hope that people are learning to understand me.