When your TCK background prevents you from caring about what others care about.

I'm pretty ashamed and disappointed to say it, but I really don’t care much about ecology and women’s rights. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "against" them, I just don’t have any passion or desire to fight for them. Here’s a few reasons why I think I struggle to care.

Disclaimer - I freaking love my home countries in West Africa, I miss it more than I could ever express, this is in no way "blaming" those countries.

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Environment:

Moving to Switzerland (one of my passport countries) two years ago was a huge culture shock. Not just the language, the fashion and the way society works, but also all the protesting, marching and debates about the environment and feminism. I respect that they're important, but not really to me. You see, having grown up in west Africa since I was 2, when kids in Swiss schools were learning about women’s rights, I was watching men marry more than one wife. When people here were complaining that being a stay at home mom was sexist, I was growing up in a culture where having children makes you valuable and if you can’t, you're nothing.

Needs:

In subsistence farming societies, people's threats are simpler. Starvation, homelessness and dangerous animals. But when those basic needs are all being met, what are you supposed to care about? That’s when you find time and energy to care about these other issues. They’re good, and it’s encouraging to see that our Swiss economy is built and stable enough to be able to care about other things. The focus is simply different.

Early education:

We teach essential things to children so that they stay embedded in their hearts. That’s why we teach children to be kind to each other, not to hurt others and all these other things that are expected in society. If you grow up caring about the environment and the political world then it’s easy to care. It’s easy to be passionate and protest for these causes. When kids in Europe were being warned about dangers of the environment, I was being warned that snakes can sneak into the house if you don’t shut the door properly. It’s not like my parents didn’t explain things to us and tell us not to litter and all these other things, but the reality of our lives were so detached from these causes. I didn’t have to think every day “I should go pick up that litter,” or “Let’s walk instead of taking the car to someone’s house.” But I had to think about poking a stick into piles of leaves before walking through them because of the snakes that might hide in them.

Desensitization:

This one ties in with the early education - if you are exposed frequently to something, after a time, the chances are you won’t notice it any longer or react to it. Sometimes this is good! Like when your neighbourhood stinks like poop and as the days go by you notice it less and less. But sometimes it isn’t good. Seeing children begging on the street for example was normal for me. I was always taken back when expats came to West Africa for the first time and were surprised by this. Poverty becomes “normal”. Seeing trash everywhere is "normal".

Another example is animal welfare. It's hard to care about saving animals when there are starving people in the world.

Concept of the future:

I keep hearing people say “we have to look after this earth because it will be our children and grandchildren’s home too.” I completely agree with this, but it’s only possible to see this if you’re expecting to live to have children and grandchildren. In remote areas of West Africa, you’re not even guaranteed to survive your childhood let alone live to have children. You can’t plan that far ahead if you see people dying early, and an “elderly person” is 50 years old.

Personality:

Some people just care more than others. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t really care about. No, it’s not that I’m stupid or a rebel, it’s just that I don’t find myself thinking or wondering about certain things. The same way you might be passionate about sociology and find yourself wondering about society and culture. I'm not. It’s not a problem. It’s that God made us differently. If everyone cared about saving the animals, we would have a serious problem in caring for people. If everyone cared about people, a lot of animals would already be extinct.

Balance is key:

I may not care much about some of the issues I’ve talked about, but I can respect that some people do care. I can admire their convictions and passion. I could listen to someone who’s passionate about politics for hours. I couldn’t join in exactly, but I love to listen to passion. It is possible to be neutral (I’m not saying that because I’m Swiss by birth!) and not have an opinion on certain things. It doesn’t mean I’m uneducated, dumb or a push over. It’s just that I don’t know enough to launch into a heated debate, or be motivated to go march with others and fight for something.

It also doesn’t mean that I’m not passionate and interested in anything though. I’m passionate about adoption, foster care, mental health, kids, babies, Africa, self-acceptance, abuse, Jesus, books, loving other people and a ton more things.

So, if you recognize yourself in what I’m saying then be reassured that it isn’t just you, and if you’re furious about the fact that I don’t care, read it all again and try to be patient with me and those who struggle with this.